Today has turned out to be a hard day. My oldest son is making plans to move his family to Missouri in hopes of a better job. He will be the first to move away. I will miss them terribly. Then I was going through my craft closet, attempting to organize it, and ran across memorabilia from Donald and Joseph. I really hate it when that happens. The grief just comes out of nowhere and smacks you. It doesn't help that I have been struggling with their loss more than usual lately. I found a notebook where I wrote how I felt when we lost Donald. Hard to believe it is almost 16 years.

As I have studied the proclamation, learned more about the nature of God and how crucial the family is to His plan, the more I am grateful for the knowledge I have that my sons are with family and Heavenly Father. That I will see them again and that we are an eternal family.

When we talk of trials in lessons and talks there is always the caveat..."When it has passed we understand why and the blessings that have come because of it." I got news for you, there are some trials that do not end. Talk to anyone that has lost a child, the grief is part of you. To have lost two is a life long struggle with loss. It is a part of me and always will be until we are reunited.

I really don't know how parents lose children without knowing the plan of salvation. I would be a total basket case if I haven't felt the love of my Savior and the strength that He gives me on a daily basis.

This is the true gospel. The doctrine is eternal. My Father lives. His Son lives. They know and love me.