I have been studying the family proclamation for a few weeks now. My first knee jerk reaction at this point is "Okay, I've got it. If we follow God's plan we will have the perfect family and achieve eternal life." But that is not the point. The point is that there are no perfect families. You can read the scriptures every day and have family prayers and hold Family Home Evening every week. You can be striving to live all the commandments to the best of your ability and things will not be what you expect them to be.When you follow the counsel of our prophets and the words of the Lord you will be blessed, you will have a strong root system in the gospel that will help you through the trials but you will not have the perfect family because the perfect family does not exist in this mortal existence. 

Every person in a family has agency. As parents you can teach, set an example, be there when they need you and support them through everything they do as your children grow and learn. However, you cannot govern their choices. You cannot make them do everything right and choose the things you would have them choose. That is the plan Satan proposed. I have a friend who is really struggling because most of her children have rejected the gospel and have pulled away from the family. She is not kind about it and considers the lives they have chosen to be an affront to her. She wanted the "perfect Mormon family", at least one that looked that way. I feel her pain but I have no sympathy for her reaction to her children's choices. 

I don't know why but I have always been a realist. I do not expect my children to be perfect. I do not expect my husband to be perfect and I do not expect my marriage to be smooth, without any bumps along the way. Two of my five children are inactive in the church. Two of my sons are serving missions on the other side of the veil. So I have one son that is active in the church. Does that mean I love my children less? Do I disown them because they no longer believe as they were raised? I love them all just the same as I always have and always will. To me that is the perfect family. One that loves no matter what. That accepts who they are even though they disagree with their lifestyle choice. 

Could I have done better with teaching them correct principles? Yes, very much so. Would that have made a difference? We'll never know.  I suppose the point of this post to share that every family is wonderful and special but, the dreams you had when you started your family may not come to pass and you need to accept and love your family no matter what.